Got beef? Josh Barrie on why the artificial meat lobby needs to calm down

I’ve had a few Neat Burgers in my time. I quite like the chain’s standard ‘cheeseburger’ because it tastes quite a lot like McDonald’s, one of my favourite purveyors of budget food.

There are questions over the longevity and plausibility of modern, artificial meat. Let’s not bore ourselves discussing them. I’ll just say that I’m unconvinced by the whole movement, but also burger patties made with peat protein and quinoa don’t upset me, particularly. 

But I was a little irked by what Tommaso Chiabra, co-founder of Neat Burger, recently said: 

“By 2040, we see a world where alternative proteins have replaced animal proteins completely.  Neat is leading the charge in the development of these alternatives that not only satisfy the needs of conscious consumers, but also deliver on flavour. We’re here to prove that the easiest choice can also be the best choice for the planet.” 

Wearisome arithmetic informs me that 2040 is 18 years away. If Tommaso really thinks we won’t be eating fried chicken and rib-eye steaks within that time-frame he is possibly delusional. I’ve no doubt the world’s culinary landscape will be very different, but there is no way humanity will ever give up meat entirely. Not out of choice, anyway. By the way, who would vote in a Government intent on rationing, curbing consumption?

Nor should we – meat is one of life’s greatest pleasures. I urge Tommaso to research regenerative agriculture. Lewis Hamilton too, who is a backer of Neat, and who spends his life flying around the world to drive motorcars around various tracks. Fair play, he has his own agenda. I’d sooner see us all switch to electric vehicles than give up herb-stuffed porchetta on a Sunday. 

We all know we ought to eat less meat. But none, anywhere, by 2040? No, I’m sorry.

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